Do Not Steal Someone’s Moment To Shine

Be happy

Happy Labor Day! The last day of a the long weekend. The beginning to the end of summer. The last day of summer vacation for many school children. Has school already started back in your area? This is the first year in I don’t know how long we are starting back after Labor Day. Are your children/grandchildren ready and excited about the new school year?

Please be aware of bullying. It is such a problem with kids, for sure, but can occur at any age. It is not a new problem by any means, I have come to realize I was bullied in school. It might seem to be getting worse but maybe there wasn’t much attention on it then. So please be aware of your littles being bullied and don’t allow them to bully others.

I hope you have had a great day and a wonderful weekend. My weekend was relatively typical. It started off with the weekly meeting of the #saturday7amsocialclub aka WW for my monthly weigh in (I was down from August, yay) then off to my session with my trainer, Jeff. Saturday was pretty much a “wash out” weather wise, so after I got home we headed to the store! “The Man” finally got his wish, lol! It was such a wet, gray, damp day that I made tomato bisque and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner! Who doesn’t love some comfort food on days like that?

I ran yesterday, not as far as the plan called for, but I did what I could. After missing last weeks 8 mile run (which was a step back week) due to Miss Quinn’s Saturday night, all-night party, this week called for 14 miles. My plan was to go for it. Early in I knew that would be pushing it. So on the fly I devised and implemented plan B, C, D; ect. I ran the 8 I supposed to run last week for time/pace, then turned off my timer and interval reminder and added two more, mainly walking the last one. I was thinking I could work more in next Sunday. What I didn’t think about until after is that I won’t be running this Sunday; it will be the first weekend of Yoga Teacher Training! That means I am going to need to log some miles during this week and keep up with my regular workouts! Heaven help me!

During my run I was thinking about this post and what I would say. I knew what I wanted to write about, but I hope I can make it make sense. I am going to try. It is quite a sore spot, and may become a bit of a ramble.

If you are a regular reader you know that I train with Jeff on Wednesday and Saturday, and that I often post pictures or videos, and write about milestones here. I also share them to my personal Facebook page, as well as instagram and such; as does Jeff. I do this in hopes of encouraging others to take steps to do what they want. To not limit themselves, especially us ladies of a “certain age”. I know that the activities I do may not be for you, but it may help you to see that you can do something you have wanted and thought impossible. Through writing the blog and posting I have found other ladies “of that certain age” who are powerlifters too. Some even older than me! There is a sisterhood and we know we are not alone. I have had some of you write and tell me my story has you thinking about running or lifting. You have realized it’s not impossible. You may not go to the levels I have and may not try to compete, but if you just turn that desire into doing more, you have won!

This past Wednesday was no different. Jeff posted a video and sent it to me to share, which I did. Here it is:

Things were pretty normal, Until a Facebook “friend” made a comment on my post. This was the comment:

“Hope you do not hurt your lower back !!!!!

 There’s so many other exercises you are able to do that will work the same muscles that doesn’t have to be this intense js”

This was finally my response.

“There are. But when you’re training to lift heavy and for a powerlifting competition. You lift and train heavy.”

It took me a while to find a way to say something nice. Trust me my first instinct was to lay into her. Why, you may ask?

This is someone who bullied me in junior high/high school (it wasn’t middle school back then).

I was not an athletic kid, I have probably mentioned that a time or two. Honestly, I still don’t consider myself athletic. Team sports were never my thing. I was terrible at them. If you notice, I don’t engage in team activity now. I run races and there are others, but I am competing against myself, to better my time, to challenge me, to test my own endurance. When I do things like run five half marathons in five weeks or a half and full marathon in the same weekend I am competing with me, I am challenging myself. This is same as when I went for that 185 lb deadlift. I had a goal to lift more than the amount I weighed when I returned to WW 3 1/2+ years ago. That was a challenge and suck a “high” for me. There are a host of others in a yoga practice, but in Yoga you work at your pace with your breath and where your body is that day. And with weightlifting I am bettering and competing against myself. Even if I want to go to a competition and maybe set a record.

My first memories of being made fun of because I couldn’t catch a ball or make the kick in kickball etc go back to fifth grade and age 10. I was always the last or next to last picked at recess. Often others actually saying they didn’t want me on the team because I wasn’t good enough.

This certainly felt like that all over again. I don’t believe this came from concern or a place of loving kindness. I found it mean-spirited. Trying to take my success away. This person has recently began attending a boot camp for weight loss. That’s great! I would do nothing but encourage someone to better themselves. Do what works for you, but just because you have jumped on a fitness bandwagon, does not make you an expert. Do not steal someone else’s thunder! Be happy for them and their accomplishment. Cheer for them. It’s ok to acknowledge that it may not be for you, but don’t discourage them. Don’t make them feel wrong. Unless you have been there, side by side training you do not know what they have done to get where they are.

She was a cheerleader back in the day, should she decide to do that again I wouldn’t tell her she shouldn’t be turning flips, doing hand stands, or such. Why must she try to steal my thunder? In all the years through my weight loss and half marathon, marathon trainings she has never responded to a post. Is she jealous? I don’t know. What I do know is that it still rankles and brought back a flood of memories.

She (in my opinion) does not/ has not followed my journey and that’s ok. If she did she would know where I started at and how far I’ve come. She would know that I have been working with a trainer since almost day on and that Jeff and I have been training together for going on three years. That we/I have worked long and hard to get to this point. Jeff knows me and what I am capable of. I did not get here over night. It has taken time. I am still a work in progress. And this isn’t where we are heading for the long run. I must get through my marathon training before we step it up much more. Jeff, also knows if we try something that I am not comfortable doing or don’t think I’m ready for I will not do it or I will stop and try again after training better for it. Yes, he will push/nudge me out of my comfort zone (as will any trainer worth their weight) but he won’t ask me to do something he doesn’t do.

So all of this was to say, if you want to do something, JUST DO IT. Do not let some one tell that you can’t or that you shouldn’t. Follow your heart and dream. If you need to make modifications until you get to where you want to be that’s ok. Just have fun doing it. And encourage those who dare to follow their dream, even if it isn’t yours.

The week of posting three happy things that happened each day has passed. How did you do with yours? I am going to continue to post mine each day on my personal Facebook page, the blog page, and twitter. I will not post them here (unless a few say you like me to, if so let me know) since it is always a day behind.

Have you signed up to receive the blog email? If not you can do so with the subscribe button at the top right side of the page or on the “pop-up”. I will not share your email with anyone else (that would be mean) you will just be the first to know when there is a new post. You can also follow me on social media through the pop-up or by clicking the following links: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Bloglovin.  If you would like to share the blog with your Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest friends, please do. You can click the share buttons at the bottom of the post. You can also “Pin” the blog or any photos to Pinterest! Feel free to “pin away”! Your likes, comments, and shares are what helps get the blog out to more folks, and I appreciate it more than you know.

I will leave you with this thought.

Have a great week; on purpose.

Until the next time


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Author: Janet Earling-Bencivenni

I am a Lifestyle/Fashion Blogger, SAHGMa, Marathoner, and PowerLifter; sharing my journey of weight loss, fitness, fashion, and finding myself after 50. My hope is to help, encourage, and inspire others along their journey. I am here to tell you being 50 is indeed FIERCE!!!

11 thoughts on “Do Not Steal Someone’s Moment To Shine”

  1. Oh, Janet, I know exactly which post/comment you are speaking of. I really wanted to say something to her, but I didn’t want to step on any toes if in fact you two were good friends. I was going to post to her, “You won’t hurt your back if you do it correctly. And Janet is doing just fine.”

    Now, had I known the back story . . .

    I get it, and I saw it as stealing your thunder as well, but some folks just can’t be happy for others. I am truly impressed with what you do, and what you’ve overcome. You’re one bad ass grandma! 😀 <3

    1. Thank you, Amy! And I know you know very well what goes into a workout like that. I certainly didn’t get up one morning and decide to go pick up a sled with tractor tires and a 200lb man on top of it….to work my back muscles….

  2. That’s impressive that you found something positive to say to her!! I would have hovered over the “delete” button all week.

  3. Oh my stars! What a great post! Very real and authentic and something all of us can completely connect with. Isn’t it something how those old wounds are deep? You have done so much to help so many. You’ve encouraged me and countless others. I particularly appreciated the points you made about not stealing someone’s moment… great reminder.

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