Negative Self-Talk

Here we are again; another Monday, a new week, new possibilities. How was your weekend? Did you do anything exciting or stay around home a just rest? We didn’t do very much. Saturday afternoon we went to the Baltimore Harbor and walked around for a bit. The Pride of Baltimore was docked. I have never been down when she was in so it was nice to see her up close, in person.

“The Man” told me I looked like a tourist taking pictures, lol! My response was “who cares”?

If you look where I circled, you can see two people climbing up the ropes!

I have no idea what they were doing, but I know that would not be my gig!

It was nice to just go and walk around the harbor on a nice day, but I could have just as easily stayed home. Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to work? That was me Saturday. The day didn’t start out like that, but by the time I had a shower and was getting dressed, I didn’t like a thing I put on. Nothing looked good, my hair was awful (you know those “I hate my hair” days)? I decided it’s time for a radical hair change. I haven’t done it yet, so it won’t be a rash decision, but I haven’t given up on the idea, so that means it’s likely to happen!

I’ve been thinking about “Negative self-talk” a lot! Do you do it? How often? I think most people are usually pretty good at it. I know I am and I was at it all weekend. And that was AFTER the #satuday7amsocialclub AKA WW meeting where we talked a bit about it! Maybe that’s the problem, lol! That wasn’t our topic, but it’s where we “wandered” to.

One member was telling us about a race she just completed in horrible weather. She was under trained but decided to go for it anyway, she was doing it with her daughter and a friend. It took her over four hours to run a 12 mile race, she was next to last, was walking and crying the last few miles, had been moved to the sidewalk to finish, had a policeman offer to give her ride; they were rolling up the timing mat when she got there so she didn’t have an official time, but she finished. She didn’t quit. She turned her negatives into a positive. She finished what she started.

I know how she felt starting out. I know I am so under trained for these upcoming races next month, or I guess I should say for the marathon, I should be good for the half on Saturday, but I am very much doubting my ability finish the full on Sunday or within the time limit. I see me being on the sidewalk trying to finish. I am honestly counting on race day adrenaline and finding another “back of the packer” to buddy up with to keep going. I am honestly scared. This is the most I have ever been scared and doubting my ability going into a race.

Another member made it to a milestone in her weight loss journey. Our leader asked her how she felt and what advice she would give to others. She started her story with everything negative she could, she’s never made it to that point, always quit just before getting to that point because her weight loss was slowing…..not that she didn’t give up, she kept going….you get the picture. It took another member pointing out that she hadn’t said anything positive to get her there.

Maybe that’s what happened. My day didn’t start out that way, but by the time I was getting dressed, those doubts were running rampant. Do you think someone else’s negatives can cause your own? How do you turn it around?

It didn’t end with Saturday. When I was running yesterday, I was negative talking to myself the entire way. “I can’t do this, I should defer, I should downgrade to the 10K, if I can, this is crazy (that might be), once this is over I may never run again (maybe or at least not for endurance anytime soon). It has been a lot with the other stuff I am doing and I will admit I have taken on quite a bit. I knew what I was doing, talking down to myself,  but I was powerless to stop it. After missing my run last week because of spending the weekend in yoga teacher training, this week was a 15 miler. I managed 10.well one GPS said 10, one said 10.9….ah which one to go by? I was still within the time limit to not get swept, but I had to slow down my intervals sooner than I would have liked. When I looked back in my marathon training log to two years ago, for this run I made it 13.25 out of 15. I think that was the week I fell and kept going as much as I could. So a little more than I did this time, but still not the entire distance and I finished that marathon. In all honesty I could have gone more than the 10 I did yesterday, but I had talked myself into stopping. I just wasn’t feeling it. Those negative thoughts let me stop myself. Had I looked at the log from last time and thought about it, I would have pushed myself farther, I think.  At the end of the day, my goal is to finish. I’m not going for time, but would like to stay within that time limit and not get swept. I would feel much better if the full were on Saturday and the half on Sunday. For the next month I will need to be diligent with my diet, and get as much rest as possible. I started thinking (while running) maybe I should go back to once per week with Jeff, for the next month, until after the race. With the extra yoga work and studying I’m not sure twice per week is a good thing (since this was part of my talking to myself yesterday I’m not sure that is unreasonable to do or me doubting myself). I will continue to ponder on that.

Somewhere along the way I remembered this pendant from Plunder.

I CAN and I WILL…..Watch Me

It came with some bundles I bought earlier in the year. I seemed to have gotten a boat load of them! I wasn’t quite sure why I needed so many, but maybe I should hang them all over the house! I will carry it with me for the races. I do have several so if you or someone you know needs one, let me know!

“I Can AND I Will…..Watch Me”! So much more positive than “I can’t do this” don’t you think? When I was training for my first marathon my mantra was “She believed she could so she did”, my race songs were “I don’t need your rocking chair” by George Jones and “My Way” by Elvis.

I think I am adopting this saying for my race mantra now “I CAN and I WILL….Watch Me”! With a new mantra, should I come up with a new race song? Any ideas? Help me out here!! I may need that rocking chair this time, lol!!!

Are you receiving the blog email? If not you can do so with the subscribe button at the top right side of the page or on the “pop-up”. I will not share your email with anyone else (that would be mean) you will just be the first to know when there is a new post. You can also follow me on social media through the pop-up or by clicking the following links: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Bloglovin.  If you would like to share the blog with your Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest friends, please do. You can click the share buttons at the bottom of the post. You can also “Pin” the blog or any photos to Pinterest! Feel free to “pin away”! Your likes, comments, and shares are what helps get the blog out to more folks, which helps it grow, and I appreciate it more than you know.

Until the next time

Janet

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Do Not Steal Someone’s Moment To Shine

Be happy

Happy Labor Day! The last day of a the long weekend. The beginning to the end of summer. The last day of summer vacation for many school children. Has school already started back in your area? This is the first year in I don’t know how long we are starting back after Labor Day. Are your children/grandchildren ready and excited about the new school year?

Please be aware of bullying. It is such a problem with kids, for sure, but can occur at any age. It is not a new problem by any means, I have come to realize I was bullied in school. It might seem to be getting worse but maybe there wasn’t much attention on it then. So please be aware of your littles being bullied and don’t allow them to bully others.

I hope you have had a great day and a wonderful weekend. My weekend was relatively typical. It started off with the weekly meeting of the #saturday7amsocialclub aka WW for my monthly weigh in (I was down from August, yay) then off to my session with my trainer, Jeff. Saturday was pretty much a “wash out” weather wise, so after I got home we headed to the store! “The Man” finally got his wish, lol! It was such a wet, gray, damp day that I made tomato bisque and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner! Who doesn’t love some comfort food on days like that?

I ran yesterday, not as far as the plan called for, but I did what I could. After missing last weeks 8 mile run (which was a step back week) due to Miss Quinn’s Saturday night, all-night party, this week called for 14 miles. My plan was to go for it. Early in I knew that would be pushing it. So on the fly I devised and implemented plan B, C, D; ect. I ran the 8 I supposed to run last week for time/pace, then turned off my timer and interval reminder and added two more, mainly walking the last one. I was thinking I could work more in next Sunday. What I didn’t think about until after is that I won’t be running this Sunday; it will be the first weekend of Yoga Teacher Training! That means I am going to need to log some miles during this week and keep up with my regular workouts! Heaven help me!

During my run I was thinking about this post and what I would say. I knew what I wanted to write about, but I hope I can make it make sense. I am going to try. It is quite a sore spot, and may become a bit of a ramble.

If you are a regular reader you know that I train with Jeff on Wednesday and Saturday, and that I often post pictures or videos, and write about milestones here. I also share them to my personal Facebook page, as well as instagram and such; as does Jeff. I do this in hopes of encouraging others to take steps to do what they want. To not limit themselves, especially us ladies of a “certain age”. I know that the activities I do may not be for you, but it may help you to see that you can do something you have wanted and thought impossible. Through writing the blog and posting I have found other ladies “of that certain age” who are powerlifters too. Some even older than me! There is a sisterhood and we know we are not alone. I have had some of you write and tell me my story has you thinking about running or lifting. You have realized it’s not impossible. You may not go to the levels I have and may not try to compete, but if you just turn that desire into doing more, you have won!

This past Wednesday was no different. Jeff posted a video and sent it to me to share, which I did. Here it is:

Things were pretty normal, Until a Facebook “friend” made a comment on my post. This was the comment:

“Hope you do not hurt your lower back !!!!!

 There’s so many other exercises you are able to do that will work the same muscles that doesn’t have to be this intense js”

This was finally my response.

“There are. But when you’re training to lift heavy and for a powerlifting competition. You lift and train heavy.”

It took me a while to find a way to say something nice. Trust me my first instinct was to lay into her. Why, you may ask?

This is someone who bullied me in junior high/high school (it wasn’t middle school back then).

I was not an athletic kid, I have probably mentioned that a time or two. Honestly, I still don’t consider myself athletic. Team sports were never my thing. I was terrible at them. If you notice, I don’t engage in team activity now. I run races and there are others, but I am competing against myself, to better my time, to challenge me, to test my own endurance. When I do things like run five half marathons in five weeks or a half and full marathon in the same weekend I am competing with me, I am challenging myself. This is same as when I went for that 185 lb deadlift. I had a goal to lift more than the amount I weighed when I returned to WW 3 1/2+ years ago. That was a challenge and suck a “high” for me. There are a host of others in a yoga practice, but in Yoga you work at your pace with your breath and where your body is that day. And with weightlifting I am bettering and competing against myself. Even if I want to go to a competition and maybe set a record.

My first memories of being made fun of because I couldn’t catch a ball or make the kick in kickball etc go back to fifth grade and age 10. I was always the last or next to last picked at recess. Often others actually saying they didn’t want me on the team because I wasn’t good enough.

This certainly felt like that all over again. I don’t believe this came from concern or a place of loving kindness. I found it mean-spirited. Trying to take my success away. This person has recently began attending a boot camp for weight loss. That’s great! I would do nothing but encourage someone to better themselves. Do what works for you, but just because you have jumped on a fitness bandwagon, does not make you an expert. Do not steal someone else’s thunder! Be happy for them and their accomplishment. Cheer for them. It’s ok to acknowledge that it may not be for you, but don’t discourage them. Don’t make them feel wrong. Unless you have been there, side by side training you do not know what they have done to get where they are.

She was a cheerleader back in the day, should she decide to do that again I wouldn’t tell her she shouldn’t be turning flips, doing hand stands, or such. Why must she try to steal my thunder? In all the years through my weight loss and half marathon, marathon trainings she has never responded to a post. Is she jealous? I don’t know. What I do know is that it still rankles and brought back a flood of memories.

She (in my opinion) does not/ has not followed my journey and that’s ok. If she did she would know where I started at and how far I’ve come. She would know that I have been working with a trainer since almost day on and that Jeff and I have been training together for going on three years. That we/I have worked long and hard to get to this point. Jeff knows me and what I am capable of. I did not get here over night. It has taken time. I am still a work in progress. And this isn’t where we are heading for the long run. I must get through my marathon training before we step it up much more. Jeff, also knows if we try something that I am not comfortable doing or don’t think I’m ready for I will not do it or I will stop and try again after training better for it. Yes, he will push/nudge me out of my comfort zone (as will any trainer worth their weight) but he won’t ask me to do something he doesn’t do.

So all of this was to say, if you want to do something, JUST DO IT. Do not let some one tell that you can’t or that you shouldn’t. Follow your heart and dream. If you need to make modifications until you get to where you want to be that’s ok. Just have fun doing it. And encourage those who dare to follow their dream, even if it isn’t yours.

The week of posting three happy things that happened each day has passed. How did you do with yours? I am going to continue to post mine each day on my personal Facebook page, the blog page, and twitter. I will not post them here (unless a few say you like me to, if so let me know) since it is always a day behind.

Have you signed up to receive the blog email? If not you can do so with the subscribe button at the top right side of the page or on the “pop-up”. I will not share your email with anyone else (that would be mean) you will just be the first to know when there is a new post. You can also follow me on social media through the pop-up or by clicking the following links: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Bloglovin.  If you would like to share the blog with your Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest friends, please do. You can click the share buttons at the bottom of the post. You can also “Pin” the blog or any photos to Pinterest! Feel free to “pin away”! Your likes, comments, and shares are what helps get the blog out to more folks, and I appreciate it more than you know.

I will leave you with this thought.

Have a great week; on purpose.

Until the next time

Janet

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Be Happy

Get Happy Challenge

It’s a new week! I hope you enjoyed your weekend. Honestly, mine was on track to be “eh”. Lol. It turned out to be not great, but not the worst. “The Man” was fixated again on going to Sams Club on Saturday….I wish someone could explain such a “need” on a beautiful day, when there is nothing you “need” to purchase. It didn’t happen though.

We did make it to the state fair with Noah and Miss Quinn. They had a good time and we made some memories. I love-making memories, don’t you?

The #saturday7amsocialclub meeting AKA weight watchers was about being happy. We were given a challenge to write down three things everyday for the week, that made us happy that day. I took it a couple of steps further and decided to share it here with you and post it to Facebook and the WW connect site. That is a forum (?) for WW members to post on and encourage each other, much like Facebook. Did you know that some days finding something that made you happy can be hard? Especially if you are around unhappy people. They can certainly drain the life and joy out of you

My three things for Saturday were:

  1. Attending my Saturday morning meeting with my WW family then heading off to my workout with Jeff Afterwards. I get to recharge and reset for the week ahead.

2. Spending the afternoon with Noah and Miss Quinn at the state fair.

3. Peach ice cream-at the fair-it was yummy and totally worth it!

Since this is my post for Monday I am listing two days worth of happy moments and sharing Sunday’s too.

The three things that made me happy Sunday were:

  1. When I got up I could feel that fall in the air. Yes it is coming. I love fall
  2. I got to lay down and rest for a bit today, I didn’t “sleep” but I rested (Miss Quinn wandered into my bed around 10:30 last night and didn’t go back to sleep until after 4:30 this morning 😳) apparently it “was party in Oma’s room”… I had that “dragon” disease.
  3. It’s just a few minutes after 8pm and as soon as I’m finished here, I’m going to sleep!

Now I am going to pass this challenge along to you; dear readers. List or post three things everyday for the next week that made happy that day.

We could all use some happy in our lives. Sometimes it is just way too easy to focus on the bad, negative and unhappy moments.  Share your happy moments in the comments or on the Facebook page if you would like.

I hope you don’t have to look too far to find your happy moments.

Have you signed up to receive the blog email? If not you can do so with the subscribe button at the top right side of the page or on the “pop-up”. I will not share your email with anyone else (that would be mean) you will just be the first to know when there is a new post. You can also follow me on social media through the pop-up or by clicking the following links: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Bloglovin.  The Facebook page AND Instagram has now reached over 600 followers! Twitter and Pinterest are catching up! Thank you all for helping to get it there!

If you would like to share the blog with your Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest friends, please do. You can click the share buttons at the bottom of the post. You can also “Pin” the blog or any photos to Pinterest! Feel free to “pin away”! Your likes, comments, and shares are what helps get the blog out to more folks, and I appreciate it more than you know.

Let’s make this week great and be Happy!

Until the next time

Janet

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A Day At The Italian Festival

Things are starting to change, I will get it figured out

Have you ever had a day where everything and everyone irritates the living daylights out of you? Well, let me tell you, I was there on Saturday! I went to the #saturday7amsocialclub aka WW meeting and on to the gym. That was the better part of the day.

When I got home “The Man” was napping, as usual. I proceeded to get a shower and dressed. He got up and said “I guess we can ready and go to Sams”. What? Well that just set me off! I have been cooped up I the house for how long? With the littles “off the chart” do you really think I want to traipse off to the big box store on Saturday morning? I was not going to that store if we starved!!! And since our basement is akin to what I imagine someones who is  preparing for the apocalypse might look like, I don’t think starvation is happening anytime soon.

I have been trying for weeks to go try the butterfly garden and sunflower fields and have yet to get there. I told him I NEEDED to be outside!!!! I wanted fresh air and sunshine! I have still not made it to either of these places….apparently the compromise was to go to Little Italy and the St. Gabrielle’s Festival which occurs every year. Sometimes we go, sometimes we don’t.

It’s basically a street festival where you can eat your way through a couple blocks of vendors. It’s sponsored by one of the local Catholic Churches in the neighborhood.

You can’t see them very good, but there a group of Nonna’s (Nonna is Italian for grandma) sitting back there making Pizzelles. I left the Pizzelles there. You get 10 for $5.00, my thought was I could come home and make many more than 10 for less than $5.00. I did not though. You will see why as you continue reading!

Then you have a group Nonno’s (Non-no is Italian for grandpa) playing Bocce Ball. I say they were the Nonno’s as the majority are the old timers. This a permanent Bocce Ball court and you can almost always find someone there playing a game.

This year the vendors just didn’t do it for me. There was just too much commercial stuff you can get anywhere. Does that make sense?

I did find a bite to eat, go figure, lol! After walking through I decided to have an Arancini.

If you don’t know, Arancini is a rice ball. A fried ball of deliciousness. I had a choice of sausage and peppers or crab and shrimp. I chose the crab and shrimp!

In my mind the seafood was healthier, hahaha! I just had to get a cup of wine to wash it down….there’s nothing like some wine in a plastic Dixie cup, lol!

The man caught me checking out the Alfa Romero’s on display!

A girl can dream, right? Unfortunately or maybe fortunately they don’t make a “bus”….but, if I go take a test drive I can get a $25 gift card and $250 off, lol!!! I think I’ll pass. I’m quite sure I would love the way it drives and want to take home. Not only do I hate having a car payment, and I have one with the bus, it is not practical for me right now with all the grand littles. And the man does not need that for a work vehicle, although I’m sure he would think otherwise.

I was looking to see where he had wandered off to. The dress is from WHBM. It is mainly navy with some light blue, tan, yellow, and white. I like it with my tan Vince Camuto sandals and yellow, cream and tan cross body bag (both from HSN). You can’t see my jewelry very good, but I have on a pair of dangle earrings that I got in Italy (in Epcot at Disney last year, lol). That’s likely the closest I will ever get….the blue bracelet on my left arm is Plunder and called Ritta. It is a narrow denim bangle type with gold and silver along with a row of rhinestones and is one of the new magnetic closures. They are so easy to put in and take off! My other bracelets are a combination of Plunder and one of my Pandora bracelets. I don’t think this dress needs a necklace.

On the way out of the festival we had to stop by a local Italian bakery; Vaccaro’s. I just “had” to get some cannoli chips and dip.

Can you say yum? I only get what they call an individual serving (it’s more than I need) but they give you enough cream for what I don’t know….fyi, I got a homemade mango gelato too….

Later in the day “The Man” thought we should go to the mall….we were only at the festival maybe 30-45 minutes. It doesn’t take long to walk through, unless you eat and drink your way through. Now what part of being outside did he forget? We went and I bought NOTHING! Can you believe that? I even spent almost and hour in WHBM trying on things, and although I liked them, they were in sale, and I had coupons but I found no joy in being there.

It finally dawned on me after I completely snapped at him, my hormones are getting out of whack; way out of whack (ladies I imagine some of you know what I mean)….. This may be why the littles are so on my last nerve too, besides this eclipse business which I’m still convinced has had an effect on moods. Times are starting to change….this is going to be a challenge.

As I pondered what was going on the rest of the weekend, I started putting two and two together. I started noticing more than a month ago I would got to bed freezing then I was waking during night with what I’m now believe were hot flashes. At the time I kind of chalked it up to it being summer and the nights being so hot and humid and such. I can also cry, just for the sake of crying; happy I can cry, sad I can cry, angry I can cry (after I let loose with both barrels). Then I started doing some more math and realized it’s also been about three months since that monthly annoyance has visited. Now I knew it had been a little while, but wasn’t thinking it was that long. I’m sure you know I don’t really mind that. It’s the rest that comes along when she leaves that is going to cause problems, if I’m not careful. Let’s hope I can through this with out completely going around the bend. And I have thought a couple of times I was careening around it pretty darn fast!

Ironically I thought this was done and over with several years ago. I started taking a bio-identical progesterone during my 40s due to some imbalances, and going through some of the same things. After a period of time my cycle stopped. My GYN and I thought after more than a year, it was done and For six years or so, nothing! Then I started losing weight and after losing 35 pounds, guess what returned? Just as if it had never left….😡 I also stopped the progesterone as I felt great and my doctor and I decided if I didn’t need it there was no sense in continuing to take it and I could restart it at anytime I needed to. So for the past almost three years things have been great. Guess who I called today? Yes, it’s time to revisit some alternatives. If not I think I am going to go mad. Yoga and other exercise hasn’t helped. It does while I’m there, but so far long-term it’s not doing it. I’m now wondering if this is a factor in some of the weight I’ve gained back. There are so many changes going with my body; the increasing activity and now the likely hormonal changes. If it is indeed a factor I will most definitely need to be more diligent with my diet and work this out. It may well explain the increasing cravings for things I generally could care less about. I will get this figured out! Hopefully sooner rather than later.

So friends have you been there, done that yet? How have you fared? How/what did you do to get through it? Any thoughts/words of wisdom will be appreciated. I’m sure there are others who may want to know too! As women we are all in this together!

After all that my daughter came home and wanted to know if I wanted to go Sunday afternoon and get some pictures for the blog. Just wait until see what we got into….I still can’t believe it!

Do you receive the blog email so that you know when there is a new post? If not you can do so with the subscribe button at the top right side of the page or on the “pop-up”. I will not share your email with anyone else (that would be mean) you will just be the first to know when there is a new post. You can also follow me on social media through the pop-up or by clicking the following links: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Bloglovin.  The Facebook page AND Instagram has now reached over 600 followers! Twitter and Pinterest are catching up! Thank you all for helping to get it there!

If you would like to share the blog with your Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest friends, please do. You can click the share buttons at the bottom of the post. You can also “Pin” the blog or any photos to Pinterest! Feel free to “pin away”! Your likes, comments, and shares are what helps get the blog out to more folks, and I appreciate it more than you know.

Until the next time

Janet

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